Be Only You

I know you have likely heard it all before and the frustrating advice from friends and family on being “grateful” for something. Quite often this message can be infuriating especially when you are trying to deal with a difficult situation. 

With that said, expressing gratitude (in many forms) is much more powerful than you think. It isn’t some spiritual practice where you need to sit around cross legged for hours or go around with a forced smile on yourself. It is about the energy that you radiate out into the world through your thoughts, words and actions. How you cultivate this energy, is rooted in the ways you express and feel gratitude. Before I jump into the “hows”, we need to talk about your likely resistance and some common misconceptions.  

Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.

Oprah Winfrey

Why You Can Be Resistant To Gratitude

You have had or are having a painful life experience

You may feel by embracing gratitude for one aspect of your life, that it feels like betrayal to the painful aspect of your life. Almost a sense of guilt for feeling “good” when your mind is telling you that you should be fearful or in some cases punished for something.

Insincerity within relationships

This can stem from a teacher, a caregiver, parent or sibling that did (or does) things for you and gave (or gives) you things in an impure way, with strings attached so gratitude becomes tarnished or falsified. E.g. being given second hand clothes from your sibling, and the response to your concerns on what the “kids at school will think” is along the lines of, “you should be grateful because children in other countries don’t even have clothes”

Past experience

You’ve been there, done that and got the postcard with what you thought gratitude was. You tried the whole being grateful a couple of times and it did “nothing”. Spoiler alert: you gave up too soon because it is not an one and done activity.

Common Misconceptions With Gratitude

1. Being grateful does not mean you will be happy all the time
   • Life is full of pain in some shape or another
2. You also can’t fake it, you have to mean it otherwise you are putting the wrong energy out into the universe
   • Once you elevate your vibration to this higher frequency of gratitude, it is a natural attractor for more of what you want
3. Trying to control the outcome of your gratitude is not possible
   • You are rooting yourself with the lower vibration of fear and worry which repel the things that you want
4. Gratitude doesn’t necessarily mean you gain something
   • It is helping you cultivate an appreciation of the value and worth of something or someone currently in your life
5. Being grateful will not solve all your problems in life
   • Although if used consistently (yes this means daily) it can strengthen your relationships with yourself and others. It can even help you with substituting negative thoughts

Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny

Lao Tzu

Some Easy Ways To Practise Gratitude

Like bathing, I recommend a daily gratitude practice in the morning and before you go to bed. There is no right or wrong way of practising gratitude really, provided that you are genuinely either cultivating or radiating all the feelings associated with gratitude.

Here are some of the ways that I practise gratitude. This is not exhaustive and I am always on the quest to learn new ways (so please reach out and share!) 

1. Make it a daily practise (subscribe to my weekly blog here and receive a free gratitude prompt printout)
   • If you take nothing else from this blog, a morning and evening gratitude practise will transform your life (I promise)
   • It won’t be overnight but you will look back on the months/years and realise the level of positivity and abundance that you attracted into your life
2. In a journal, write down 50 things that you are grateful for (doesn’t matter how big or small)
   • Who are you grateful for?
   • What are you grateful for?
   • What brought you comfort today or a smile to your face today?
3. If you are in a painful situation right now, what are the silver linings or what can you learn from it?
   • Don’t dismiss any of your emotions (pain, fear, worry) with this situation although challenge yourself on what is it teaching you
   • We must be thankful for these lessons we learn, help us grow and become better versions of ourselves
4. Give gratitude to someone via text or tell them directly
   • Thank someone in your life for something (make it personalised), notice how it shifts your mood
   • Do it right now, it can be anything and notice your energetic shift
5. Show kindness and gratitude in person
   • Get into a habit in the car, on your commute, in the bed or on your daily walk to show kindness, smile at a stranger, let them into your lane 

Gratitude helps to cultivate positivity.

Dr Dave Rubin

By introducing more and more gratitude into your life, you are not ignoring the pain, hurt and fear in your life. You are harnessing this powerful tool to make more space for appreciation, kindness and love within your life. In this way, you can bit by bit reduce the space that other draining emotions take up in your mind and work on elevating your vibration towards the higher levels.

I will repeat, the practice of gratitude is not a one and done, it is a daily practice and I promise you will start to see and feel great things coming into your life provided that you stay committed to this practice. Not everyday will be the same but you will reflect over time and wonder why it took you so long to get started.

Good luck and I am grateful for you taking the time to read my thoughts and musings. If you are not sure where to start, my weekly blog here and receive a free gratitude prompt printout.

If any of this content inspires you or you have any feedback I would love to hear in the comments below. Don’t forget to subscribe to receive my weekly blog straight to your inbox! 

Also consider forwarding this to anyone else you think needs it!

Much love ♥

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist, these opinions are my own views and thoughts. I strongly encourage you to work with your healthcare practitioner and/or therapist if any of these views have had a negative impact on you.