Be Only You

The past isn’t just those distant, worrisome memories that you harbour. It’s the emotions that evoke the very thought of a memory that you hold onto so tightly. We can all relate to this in so many ways with fond and not so fond memories. Have you noticed yourself also recalling a memory in response to a question or request with “Oh I can do that” or “I’ve tried that before and it didn’t work”. We are creatures of our personal reality or in other words, our personality of which we have developed from the thoughts, emotions and behaviours of our past.

For example, you tell yourself that you are just an anxious person and need to know all of the details for an upcoming trip because you like to know. This is the story (or excuse) you tell yourself day in, day out and it becomes part of your personality. But in reality, this is an early childhood learned belief that was a response, a coping mechanism to environments filled with emotionally dysregulated adults and so this baseline anxiety and need for control that you have is an addiction (a comfort) to your past learned beliefs and essentially a survival mechanism you executed on the daily back in those earlier years. 

The past is never where we think it is but is always wherever we are. ~ Anon

You hear all the time about being a victim of your past and it’s true because you can keep yourself there everyday if you want to. By replaying the same story, the same narrative, the same learned behaviour or set of beliefs. You hold yourself back because it’s known, it’s comfortable and it’s who you are right? Well it doesn’t have to be that way but you do have to do something about it.

Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes

If you don’t like something about your life, I am here to tell you that you have the ability to change that. It may not happen overnight but I promise you that you have everything inside of you to make that change. It all starts with the intention in your mind to make a change. Stop telling yourself that it’s just the way I am, the way they are or it just has to be that way. Come at the thing you want to change from a  different angle because your ego is blinkering you and it’s also lying to you. 

Do everything in your power to turn the volume down low on your inner critic. That voice that tells you that you are not good enough or you can do this or that. This part of you fuels from and loves to latch onto all those difficult memories and emotions from your past to keep itself validated. No human (rich or poor) is immune to being attached to the past, it’s part of our very evolution but if you don’t master the balancing act between your past, present and future, you will remain stuck forever in this negative spiral loop

Here’s 3 Tips To Get Started

1. Reflect

Tip: dedicate some time to quiet reflection as often as you possibly can. The 5 minutes with your morning coffee, as you brush your teeth or on the morning commute. 

I’ve been on a pretty significant personal growth journey this year to travel to the inner realms of my early learned beliefs. It’s important to honour your past, be grateful for your experience although even more important to give yourself the gift of possibility and hope for the future. We’re well into Winter in the Northern Hemisphere where many animals go into herniation, us humans stay indoors a lot more as the evenings get darker and darker. While this can be challenging for some, it’s a great time to invite contemplation, self-reflection and to let go of any past attachments and welcome the transformations of the impending future.

2. Respond Not React

Tip: try to add a few seconds of silence before you respond with your words or actions. Essentially give yourself and your mind a buffer to allow you time to respond and not react.

We make all of our emotions real in the present moment and we all know how it feels to react to a partner or family member’s ability to “wind us up”. These moments are our triggers and we should become very intimate with them because they are our key to our past. A deep seeded wound that we keep so well protected and perhaps this is the very thing you are trying to change? So in these moments ask yourself how you would prefer to feel and what do you need to allow that. 

For example, you notice you are feeling anxious ahead of the family get together because you know that one aunt will make a comment about how you still live at home or about being single. Even before this potential event, you are stimulating those limiting beliefs of your current situation and your brain does not know the difference and so it believes it to be true and hence why you feel sad and less then already. So when you catch yourself in this negative internal discussion, flip the switch to visualising how you will feel when you have the house, the relationship, the body, the job and immerse yourself in the swell of that beautiful fantasy even if just for 30 seconds. 

Fall in love with you future ~ Dr Joe Dipenza

3. Repeat

Tip: like muscles take time to build so do the muscles of your mind so keep practising, daily at the very least!

This is the key to manifestation, highing vibration, attracting abundance, being happy, call it whatever you want, repeat, repeat, repeat. I can’t tell you how long it’s going to take but it will happen so keep going, and bit by bit you will notice the little pieces of your puzzle coming together. Follow these signs, these are the signals to you to keep going. Don’t get disgruntled along the way because not every path is linear, there are challenges and signals along the way that are there to redirect you or instill an important lesson that you will use later on.

You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only comment them look backwards ~ Steve Jobs

As we approach the end of another calendar year why not take one thing or behaviour and test this approach out. Remember you CAN change but nothing changes if nothing changes. It all starts with a thought of possibility so why not give yourself the possibility of creating the life that you dream of and deserve because somewhere along the way in this conditioned world, you picked up a belief that this was not possible. 

Our past is important, it made us who we are but we can’t move forward if we keep ourselves firmly in the past.

Thank you for reading and if you haven’t already,  subscribe below to receive my weekly blog straight to your inbox and receive printable gratitude and values exercises! Please also forward this to anyone else you think might be interested.

Much love ♥

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist, these opinions are my own views and thoughts. I strongly encourage you to work with your healthcare practitioner and/or therapist if any of these views have had a negative impact on you.