Be Only You

Our life is an obstacle course, one we don’t get the option to choose. Some parts are easier and smoother than others. Along the way, you may stumble on rubble left there from someone else and at times we find treasure along this journey although it’s not always that obvious at first.

If like me, you’ve been thrown a few curveballs, it can be easy to be knocked off course for a while. That’s ok because even formula one cars need respite during a race or and athletes with half time breaks. I like to envisage these curveballs like lemons, the fruit. Sometimes, they are hard, not ripe and so we need to learn to be patient. Your lemon can be anything, that job you didn’t sign-up to, your partner post honeymoon phase or deeper challenges of grief, illness, betrayal etc. Whatever it is, you have to endure and wait for it to take its course. Although like all fruits, they do eventually ripen and become that soft, juicy goodness ready for the eating or even better, for you to make your own special lemonade. 

You can also envisage your life’s obstacles like the waves in the ocean and visualise all the variations. We have all seen on TV a huge wave that a surfer has conquered and on the contrary, most of us have paddled our feet in the smaller waves entering a beachside. You can also think of the ocean as your life’s obstacle course, there are parts of calm and serene but equally parts so choppy and treacherous. These waves represent the challenges that you tackle along the way. You have no power or control over this ocean, what waves or challenges it will throw at you. Although you do have the power to surf the waves. It doesn’t mean that you will surf the perfect wave or not fall off (even multiple times). The important thing is to try and even more importantly is to get back up when you fall. We all fall regularly in our life’s obstacle course, it’s just not normalised or even celebrated. Some people call this failure, mistakes, stupidity although this sort of labelling is not helpful although equally not accurate. Obstacle courses are designed to be hard, to test you, to push you to the edge otherwise how else do you think you grow?

You can’t stop the waves but you can learn to surf!

Jon Kabat Zinn

4 Cheat Codes For Your Obstacle Course

1. Stay Grateful

This can be difficult especially when there are all too many challenges coming face on. I promise you that building a consistent practice of writing down 3 things or people that you are grateful for, will immediately help you feel better. It doesn’t mean it will rid you of the anger, frustration or sadness related to a challenge you are facing. But it will increase your peace, happiness and overall mood. Yes you can feel opposing emotions at once, humans are fascinating like that! Sign-up to my mailing list below and receive a free gratitude print-out page.

2. Make Lemonade

The lemons won’t always be as ripe or as big but where you can, encourage yourself to make the lemonade. How can you make a challenging situation work for you? Or how can you implement boundaries or self-care practices in order to help you deal with a difficult situation? What can you be doing less of or let go of doing?

3. Compare To Yourself, Not Others

It is so easy for us to compare ourselves to our family, friends and colleagues. Society literally forces us to do it and it’s really a horrendous symptom of many societal structures in particular capitalism. The only person you should compare yourself against is your past self because that is the only reasonable thing to do. It doesn’t mean you can’t strive to achieve similar accomplishments of others, it just means that you stop putting yourself under all the unnecessary pressure to stack up against someone else who is on a completely different obstacle course than you. 

The person you are competing with is your past-self and the bar you are setting is your future self

Adam Grant

4. Keep Moving Forward

Your life is an obstacle course, at times you can step to the side, you can go backwards if you like although it’s far better to pick yourself back up and move forward, even if its baby steps. There is no race timeline, it’s your obstacle course and the finish line is where you pass on to the next life or whatever you believe is waiting for you at the end. It doesn’t matter the speed, or what part you are at, it is right for you at that moment. Don’t confuse the challenges or the lemons along the way as hurdles pushing you backwards. They are there by design to keep you growing!

So when you wake up every morning, ask yourself whether you are going to make lemonade or surf the waves. Sometimes you will have to juggle it all and even be knocked off course. This is by design. The important thing is to stay grateful and keep moving forward. We get once chance at life so don’t waste it, lean in and enjoy it because when you are on your deathbed you want to be grateful for the life and experiences that you have had. Make it count the best way you know how and use your challenges to make the contents of a great life story. 

Thank you for reading and if you haven’t already,  subscribe below to receive my weekly blog straight to your inbox and receive printable gratitude and values exercises! Please also forward this to anyone else you think might be interested

Much love ♥

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist, these opinions are my own views and thoughts. I strongly encourage you to work with your healthcare practitioner and/or therapist if any of these views have had a negative impact on you.