Be Only You

Last October, I began an online evening course focused on the areas of Counselling and Psychology with the bulk of content focused on Personal Development. Interestingly I’ve always struggled to get a clean, crisp definition for Personal Development because it’s such a broad topic although more importantly, it can mean different things to different people. With that said, I’ve taken a go at defining and outlining it as below. I believe the world would be a happier and better place if our school systems even taught 10% of what I’ve learned over the past 6 months.

Deep personal growth requires surrender. It’s this surrender that allows you to get out of your own way and let the miracles unfold.

Gabrielle Berstein

The Benefits Of Studying Personal Development

Learn to reflect on yourself, your growth and develop improved self-awareness

Better understand your needs, values, emotions and cultivate self-esteem

Develop empathy for yourself and others

Most importantly, learn to commit to living an authentic life

How & What Did I Learn?

The course was split into two modules focused firstly on personal development and for the second half, we focused on the theory and skills of counselling/psychotherapy. Most sessions had some pre-work in the form of recorded clips, hand-outs or reflection exercises. The real essence and beauty of this course could be enjoyed in the virtual break-out rooms where you met, chatted and debated topics with other impassioned students. These safe spaces also allowed for students to share their wisdom and inspiration from their own life events so vulnerably and authentically. 

My 10 Takeways (in no particular order)

1. Improved Relationships (with myself & others)

When I started this course I was struggling mentally with a lot of work stress and unresolved past relationship issues. So this course gave me an outlet and purpose. Here I was learning and studying the real tools of therapy so I could use it on myself to get through the tough period but also give me the ability to start to improve my own approach to others close to me especially with my relationship with my partner.

2. Sparked Creativity

While I started this blog well before the beginning of the course, I can thank this course for sparking a lot of the inner creativity which bubbled up from underneath the many layers of self-doubt and low self-esteem. Each week had an energising topic and/or discussions that fuel my mind with inspiration and a desire to share my own knowledge, opinion and life experience on. All with the intention of helping and supporting others through the same challenges and difficulties.

3. Feel Into My Emotions (properly)

I have developed a coping mechanism of avoiding all emotions and being too in my head. I wouldn’t never allow myself to dwell or mop too long on any issues or a difficult situation. In this way, I would not give myself the space and time to process what my emotions were so deparately needing to tell me. Through these sessions, exercises and breakout rooms, I’ve had to feel into my emotions which in turn has significantly benefited my own therapy and excelled my processing of unresolved trauma and ultimately my own healing.

4. Journalling

We had regular reflection and journaling exercises which inspired me to take up a new habit of a regular practise of journaling. This is something I would typically only do during tough times to help release the turmoil within my head although maintaining a regular journaling practice (even just a few lines a day) is a deeply nourishing release for your mind and body.  

5. Cultivate Empathy

I would describe myself as a pretty empathic person although there are times where peoples’ behaviour would immediately trigger that fiery frustration within me. Through the teachings within this course, I’ve learned to lean into a more patient and empathic manner.

Hurt people, hurt people…

Many

6. Rebuild My Confidence

Through understanding myself better, my values, my drivers and that my emotions were valid, I’ve unlocked my inner well of confidence. I believe this has been mainly through the power of authenticity, something that I had not prioritised in the last couple of year. Most importantly, doubling down on my ability to recognise but equally reduce the noise of my inner critic.

7. Improved My Own Therapy

Building a greater understanding of the different counselling and psychotherapy techniques empowered me to recognise when my therapist was bringing me through something new or uncomfortable. In this way, I understood what and why she was doing it. I also was able to build a better appreciation of the difficulties of being a good therapist and so this allowed me to reduce any resistance I had on my side to certain topics and/or uncomfortable techniques.

8. Become A Better Active Listener

While I had some coaching on this years ago, I found through this course that I was able to retrain myself on this very powerful technique. It benefits everyone in your world and your relationships to feel heard and understood. 1 of your basic needs in this life. 

9. The Power Of Reflection

We were regularly encouraged to reflect and so I now have an automatic response to actively reflect on myself, my actions, my triggers and a desire to work through it in that moment. The beauty is that it spreads into all contexts and areas of my life. I underestimated the power of this activity before and so this course has enabled me to develop this powerful and wonderful tool.

10. Decide On A Career In Therapy

I grappled with the potential of going down the counselling route, even going as far as completing the application form and sharing the decision with friends. But something within my intuition stopped me and so I leaned into the skills of reflection to understand what that resistance was internally. Typically, I am pretty decisive especially after a few nights sleep. I couldn’t see myself having a full-time job in this space purely from an emotional perspective and so I couldn’t justify the sacrifice for the next 4 years for something that I would only do part-time. With that said, I have an even bigger appreciation and admiration for the people who do take this route and who dedicate their lives to all of us clients to help us become better versions of ourselves. You do truly make the world a better place!

So How Am I Feeling Completing This Course?

In short, I am a little sad, excited although incredibly grateful. 

Grateful

For the group of students who created a safe space so quickly and authentically. This enabled the experiences to be so full of rich learning and experience. I learned as much as I did in the content as I did in the conversations with my fellow students

For myself for taking this time dedicated to me no matter what, there were many times that I could find the excuse to miss a class but I didn’t and stuck to my boundaries

For our lecturers who taught with such empathy, understanding and rigour. What was so special was their abilities to both practise what they preached by delivering content that they actively use in their own day job and bringing that life experience into this course

Excited

To take all of this learning into something to share with you and others. Perhaps into a form of an online Personal Development course. Let me know if this is something you would be interested in!  beonlyyoublog@gmail.com

A Little Sad

That there will be a gap or hole in my Tuesday evenings where I won’t get to hear all my fellow students’ voices, stories and life experiences. But all good things do come to an end and I am taking so much with me. 

I think everyone would be so much better if we all took the time to complete a course like this. It is as much about self-discovery as it is learning about counselling and psychotherapy. Feel free to reach out directly to me if you want to learn more. I am in no way sponsored or paid by the institution, this is purely my own opinion and experience. 

Thank you for reading and if you haven’t already,  subscribe below to receive my weekly blog straight to your inbox and receive printable gratitude and values exercises! Please also forward this to anyone else you think might be interested

Much love ♥

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist, these opinions are my own views and thoughts. I strongly encourage you to work with your healthcare practitioner and/or therapist if any of these views have had a negative impact on you.