Be Only You

When you live in a state of feeling less than and constant comparison, you are robbing yourself of your own life experience. Don’t get me wrong, this is not an easy thing to stop doing especially as our society forces us to live in a comparative environment of striving to be the top student, top worker, the best at this or that. So in essence, just even living pushes us into this forced function to survive. While this works for the greater good of institutions, it is at the expense of your self-esteem and happiness. And so you must remind yourself that you are enough exactly as you are, every single day. 

This also involves working on self acceptance and only you can give this to yourself. No one else’s acceptance will do. Of course we all crave and need other people’s acceptance as a sense of belonging but if you don’t accept yourself you will live in friction forever or until it eats you from the inside out.

Stop Doing This One Thing Right Now

There is one thing that I wish I had started to do earlier in my life: placing so much importance on other people’s opinions. Absolutely everyone has an opinion but you need to decide who’s opinion it is you are going to care about. This does not mean that a parent, sibling, friend or colleague gets automatic rights regardless of what they say. It is so important to vet the source and intention of an opinion and what is behind it e.g. a parent persuading you not to take that job abroad which is driven by their need to have you close or that colleague that critiques your work because they are jealous of you are becoming the favourite which challenges their own self-esteem.

Honestly, I would argue that absolutely everyone in your life has their own agenda and their own shit going on. So take all opinions with a pinch of salt and remind yourself that it’s not personal. The only opinion you should truly care about is the one you have of yourself and so work on improving this at all costs. Although be careful of misinterpreting someone else’s voice masking as your own opinion. 

Life is the dancer and you are the dance.

Eckhart Tolle

I often have to read this quote a number of times to really understand what he is referring to. It’s a beautiful representation of our life force that is so powerful. One really thought provoking exercise that Eckhardt teaches is the instruction to stretch out your hand or foot and just feel. Forget about the wind or feeling on the outside of your skin, he is referring to the feeling inside of your limb, the life force. This is your inner power and essence. This is the dance he is referring to.

4 Tips For Self Acceptance

1. Self-Praise

How often do you say well done to yourself? If you are like me, then probably not enough and it feels uncomfortable right? I often remind myself to speak to myself like I would my best friend which I find a powerful trick. Contrary to what you believe, self praise is not selfish or weird, it’s a necessary component of self-esteem so work on being your own cheerleader when those negative, self-critical thoughts pop into your head. 

2. Mirror Work

I’ll admit I am not great at this one at all but when I do it, I immediately feel so empowered. Spend a little time in the morning and evening as you brush your teeth giving yourself positive reinforcement looking into your mirror and speaking out loud with statements like “I am worthy”, “I matter”, “I am loved”. Even if you don’t believe it, saying the words out loud is so powerful. Your subconscious can’t tell the difference. The more you do this and practise, the easier it becomes, I promise.

3. Affirmations

These are probably the single biggest and most powerful tool that I have used over the past decade. I write them down every day and night or in a journal when I am having a particularly tough time. I find it helpful to also use affirmation card decks for my morning inspiration to ensure that I start my day off with a self-esteem boost even when I don’t feel like it. Some of my favourites;

• I am enough
• I am powerful
• I am exactly where I need to be
• I am free from all that does not serve me
• I am worthy

4. Stop Saying I’m Sorry

This is something that I have actively been working on for the last number of years. It was my default to “I am sorry” to most greetings and so I rephrase this to “thank you for your patience/understanding“. Of course where apologies are required I give them but I don’t make it a default position for myself because in this way I am telling the universe that I am less than. When I start from a position like this, people react accordingly to this vulnerability.  So be your strong, beautiful self and stop saying sorry where you don’t need to!

The magic and beauty of life is that you get to choose your thoughts and decide whether you want to raise yourself up or bring yourself down. You hold that power and key to yourself. Life is difficult enough without being so hard on yourself by putting too much importance onto what other people think or say about you. In the end, it really doesn’t matter what they do think of you. What really matters is what you think of yourself and how you speak to yourself every day.

Believe me I know how difficult this is, it is a daily practice for me and I can’t do it alone. I use all sorts of healing techniques like Reiki, Meditation, Yoga, Psychotherapy, Journaling and being in nature or with my animals. Pets can be an incredible source of unconditional love which can instantly bring you into a blissful state so why not trick yourself with positive affirmations the next time you are petting your cat. 

Or if its all too much for you just simply use the affirmation “I am enough” every day and write it everywhere so you can see it, read it and ultimately feel it. 

Thank you for reading and if you haven’t already,  subscribe below to receive my weekly blog straight to your inbox and receive printable gratitude and values exercises! Please also forward this to anyone else you think might be interested

Much love ♥

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist, these opinions are my own views and thoughts. I strongly encourage you to work with your healthcare practitioner and/or therapist if any of these views have had a negative impact on you.